What If Television Was Like Facebook? How Bad Would It Be?
What if Television worked the way Facebook does? Let’s call it “Telebook” - what would Telebook be like? Maybe thinking about it this way will give you a new perspective on how Facebook is (or isn’t) working for you…
Welcome To Telebook
- Telebook isn’t the only TV broadcaster, but the others have almost no shows. Everyone watches Telebook, simply because everyone ELSE watches Telebook. No one really knows why, and everyone keeps saying they are going to stop. But they don’t.
- When you turn on the TV, you are presented with shows to watch. These shows seem to be things you’ve asked for and are interested in. But wait…
You can’t pick exactly which shows you want to watch. Instead, you tell Telebook what shows and topics you Like, and it decides which episodes you get to see.
- Every time you turn on the TV, Telebook will start showing you popular shows. Some of the shows may be from last week, and you have probably already watched them. If you change the channel to watch the shows that you want to see and are on right now, Telebook will let you (if you can find the remote control button they keep moving). But it will secretly change the channel back to the “Top Shows” when you aren’t looking.
- If you try to tell Telebook that you really like a show and you want to see all its new episodes, it will ignore you and pick which episodes it thinks you will like most. It will just show you those instead. It might also show you episodes that your friends liked, instead of the ones you asked for. In fact, every few minutes there is a commercial telling you which shows your friends watched. You can’t fast forward.
- Even if you love a show and ask to see it, if you don’t leave reviews on episodes you watch, Telebook will decide you don’t actually like it very much and stop showing it to you as often.
- If lots of people love a show and want to watch every episode, Telebook will still only show new episodes to a small fraction of the interested audience. If the show’s producers want their audience to see it, they will need to pay Telebook money. Then it might be seen by a slightly higher fraction of the interested audience. Reaching everyone who wants to see your episodes costs a lot of money.
If Telebook thinks some kinds of shows are stupid or annoying, it will stop showing them, even if people ask to see them. It will never tell you how it decides what is stupid or annoying.
- Cameras will be mounted on top of all TV’s to watch every move you make while watching a show. Telebook will read your facial expressions and may decide that you don’t really like a show, even if you say you do, and then stop showing it to you. It might show you shows about Yoga if you sit with your legs crossed. You’ll never know why it thinks you like Yoga, and there is no way to tell it you don’t like Yoga. Every time you watch Telebook, it is watching you.
- In between the shows you asked for, other shows you didn’t ask for will also be shown. They will look similar to the shows you like, but you’ll realize that they aren’t what you asked for and they aren’t interesting to you. Even if you tell Telebook that you don’t want to see them, they will show them to you anyway.
Telebook will change the layout of the remote control every 2 weeks. Sometimes buttons will just disappear, and you won’t be able to figure out how to change the channel. Sometimes buttons will change color or be rearranged. Sometimes new buttons will appear and you will have no idea what they do. Telebook will say nothing about these changes. You’ll get used to it.
- Everyone would hate how this system works and be very vocal about it, but Telebook will never let you simply watch all the shows you want to. But everyone will keep watching Telebook anyway. Because that’s where all the shows are. Or at least the ones they let you see.</ul> Now… is that a service you would be excited to use?
– Matt Kruse, developer of Social Fixer
- In between the shows you asked for, other shows you didn’t ask for will also be shown. They will look similar to the shows you like, but you’ll realize that they aren’t what you asked for and they aren’t interesting to you. Even if you tell Telebook that you don’t want to see them, they will show them to you anyway.
- Cameras will be mounted on top of all TV’s to watch every move you make while watching a show. Telebook will read your facial expressions and may decide that you don’t really like a show, even if you say you do, and then stop showing it to you. It might show you shows about Yoga if you sit with your legs crossed. You’ll never know why it thinks you like Yoga, and there is no way to tell it you don’t like Yoga. Every time you watch Telebook, it is watching you.
- If lots of people love a show and want to watch every episode, Telebook will still only show new episodes to a small fraction of the interested audience. If the show’s producers want their audience to see it, they will need to pay Telebook money. Then it might be seen by a slightly higher fraction of the interested audience. Reaching everyone who wants to see your episodes costs a lot of money.
- Even if you love a show and ask to see it, if you don’t leave reviews on episodes you watch, Telebook will decide you don’t actually like it very much and stop showing it to you as often.
- If you try to tell Telebook that you really like a show and you want to see all its new episodes, it will ignore you and pick which episodes it thinks you will like most. It will just show you those instead. It might also show you episodes that your friends liked, instead of the ones you asked for. In fact, every few minutes there is a commercial telling you which shows your friends watched. You can’t fast forward.
- Every time you turn on the TV, Telebook will start showing you popular shows. Some of the shows may be from last week, and you have probably already watched them. If you change the channel to watch the shows that you want to see and are on right now, Telebook will let you (if you can find the remote control button they keep moving). But it will secretly change the channel back to the “Top Shows” when you aren’t looking.
- When you turn on the TV, you are presented with shows to watch. These shows seem to be things you’ve asked for and are interested in. But wait…